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To take or to receive makes a world of difference, discovered Vidya, while giving a sweet to her husband. She explores the intricacies of relationship in this candid article. An exclusive for Different Truths.
It was one of those days when nothing untoward happens and just as you are being thankful for it, there comes an awkward moment that makes up for an entire day of peace.
Continuing with whatever it was we were chatting about, I reached out for the box of sweets we had bought when we had gone marketing earlier that evening. Taking out a piece with my thumb and forefinger, I asked my husband, ‘Want one?’
My husband and I had just finished dinner and had cleared up the table. Continuing with whatever it was we were chatting about, I reached out for the box of sweets we had bought when we had gone marketing earlier that evening. Taking out a piece with my thumb and forefinger, I asked my husband, ‘Want one?’ He nodded his head in affirmation to which I proceeded to give him the sweet by directing my arm towards him. In response, he stretched out his arm and took the sweet from my hold. It happened all too quickly, a clumsy moment of exchange, and in the process, the sweet escaped both our fingers and lay on the floor shattered.
What followed next was a tirade of blaming, for, this was not the first time something like this had happened. I accused my husband of trying to grab the sweet from me while he said I didn’t know the biomechanics of giving.
‘So well, you can “give” yourself all the sweets you want. Good night!’ And I walked out of the room in a huff.
This was not how I had wanted the day to end, and though I was laid in my comfortable bed with the lights switched off, I couldn’t sleep.
This was not how I had wanted the day to end, and though I was laid in my comfortable bed with the lights switched off, I couldn’t sleep. The exchange of words kept playing in my head on and on, much as I tried telling myself that this was but a typical husband-wife conversation. Till I realised that it was not so much the exchange of conversation that bothered me but the exchange of the sweet itself. So I ran the scene through my head again, this time focussing on the actual give and take. What if there was something more than give and take?
There was nothing wrong with the “giving”; the biomechanics was all right. I was holding on to the sweet quite firmly with my thumb and forefinger. And my other fingers were all curled inside so they could not have been in the way of the taking. But… why did he have to take it the way he did? Why didn’t he take it by opening out his palm? I would have carefully kept it on his outstretched palm. The sweet would not have fallen.
I skipped the niceties of owing him an apology and instead proceeded to demonstrate my new-found wisdom by taking out a sweet from the box and requesting him to open out his palms.
I rose from my bed and went back to the room where my husband was still seated, having disposed off to the waste basket the evidence of our conflict. I skipped the niceties of owing him an apology and instead proceeded to demonstrate my new-found wisdom by taking out a sweet from the box and requesting him to open out his palms. My husband, used as he was over the years with my idiosyncrasies, did as I bade him to. I placed the sweet upon his palm, and it stayed there! The sweet did not fall down. Instead, it nestled in his palm waiting to be relished.
As we shared the unifying sweet, it suddenly occurred to me that my husband did not “take” the sweet from me the second time; he “received” it. On that thought, I went back to bed, to read before I would fall asleep. But though I had my book open on my lap, I hardly read a word. My heart was full of gratitude for the profound lessons simple day-to-day incidents teach us!
Life gives us what we need, but instead of being content with what we are blessed with, and receiving with grace what life bestows upon us, we pester the Universe with petition after petition of wants.
Life gives us what we need, but instead of being content with what we are blessed 
with, and receiving with grace what life bestows upon us, we pester the Universe with petition after petition of wants. In our often frantic and rapacious efforts to please others and keep with the false and, in many instances, unnecessary standards of an outdated society, we supplicate the Universe to fulfil our desires and answer our prayers, forgetting to count our blessings.
And what does the Universe do? It gives. But what it gives may not be what we desire. So our wants do not reach us, our desires remain unfulfilled, our prayers remain unanswered, leaving us wrecked with disappointment and with a life as shattered with worry, resentment, insecurity, and jealousy as the sweet that fell down.
And what does the Universe do? It gives. But what it gives may not be what we desire.
What is the bottom line? Just enjoy life. Relish it as it comes, or in other words, receive what life has to offer to you. Wholeheartedly. Even if it does not conform to certain set standards of “acceptable” society.
Photo from the Internet
