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An enigmatic poem exploring relationships, exclusively for Different Truths.
how to disappear completely by radiohead is playing on the stereo.
it’s raining outside, even though it’s only march.
maa’s smoking a cigarette in the balcony.
i am sad today; it’s not the depression, no.
just sad. ‘an aching melancholy at the pit of my stomach’ sad.
‘she looks so lonely smoking alone, i wish baba were here’ sad.
last night she tucked me in like i was ten again.
i realised later that it was more for her, not so much for me.
i let her scan my face, i know she sees him in me.
on the bad days i wonder if she’s hoping i’ll take my baba-esque face elsewhere
so she’s not caught between loss and longing each time i try to smile at her comfortingly;
i wonder if, even though he’s gone, he’ll really ever leave.
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