Aaliya shares an evocative, soul-stirring poem about longing and emotional survival exclusively on DifferentTruths.com.

For my friend Dr Seema Bhat  

I hold my head in my fist,
withdraw to the inside mist, in anticipation.
 
She talks me through the horror,
I insist on clinging to the old-world aura in anticipation.
 
My dreams have given way to nightmares;
the wide-eyed real, I let starve for attention in anticipation.
 
They tell me now, there is no common memory between lovers;
I have heaped my phone gallery with screenshots in anticipation.
 
I didn't mean to live life in the manner of fighting battles
In my mind's terrified ledger, I have filled your name for a shelter home in anticipation.
 
I was born into ruins; they still named me Aaliya, the exalted
I have kept some empty sacs stored for joy in anticipation.

Picture design by Anumita Roy

Dr Aaliya Mushtaq Baba

Dr Aaliya Mushtaq Baba, PhD (Department of English, University of Kashmir), navigates the intersections of politics, philosophy, and autobiographical writing. She has been engaged in literary academia across three universities in the region for over six years. An accomplished poet, her work has appeared in Miraas, Sheeraza, Kashmir Lit, English Studies in India, and Setu (Pittsburgh, USA). Her poetry also finds a place in The Kali Project: Invoking the Goddess Within/Indian Women’s Voices and Love and Longing: An International Anthology of Poems. With the recent release of her debut collection, Ode to Silence, her poetic voice continues to resonate through literary landscapes.