Shormita examines the plight of gays who are forced into a heterosexual marriage, against their will and the various repercussions of such wedlock. An exclusive for Different Truths.

Marriage is a union of two souls in a personal partnership. But we find that in our society, people who are gays, lesbians, or bisexuals, are forced to marry a person of the opposite gender, against their will. It has been noticed that if an individual’s gender identity does not match with his/her biological identity, then that person is conceptualised as an ‘abnormal’ human being. Our society believes that being gay, lesbian, or bisexual is a matter of ridicule and that that person has a psychological issue.

Gay people often experience forced hetero marriage. This is because of the pressure created by society and the family. They are compelled to realise that their choice of sexual orientation brings shame to the family esteem. They are forced to deal with the issue of an identity crisis right from their childhood, as a child is not able to discover his/her gender identity. Thus, most of the children suffer from depression and trauma.

Many men who are gays are forced to get married to a woman so that they could follow the norms of the heterosexual society and produce children to continue the lineage of their family. The main reason behind this is the establishment of a strong hetero-patriarchal structure within the frame of society. The strong values and traditions empowered by the powerful patriarchal setup forced men to follow such hetero-societal norms.

It is a myth to believe that men are freed from the chains of patriarchy. For instance, Mahesh Dattani’s play, Dance Like a Man, portrays the dominance of patriarchal values upon a man. Jairaj, the protagonist of the play finds his passion in dancing; this is the reason why his gender identity has been questioned in the play. His father opposes his choice of profession as he believes that dance is not a profession for males. This distinction between male and female often characterises the traits of masculinity and femininity.

There are a few incidents where the spouse of a gay, woman, committed suicide when she got to know about her husband’s sexual orientation. A 30-year-old woman doctor from AIIMS committed suicide because of her loveless marriage with a gay doctor, reported Mint. The sad part is that the woman finds herself trapped in a foul marriage, which not only breaks her emotionally, but it also affects her social life and esteem.

On the other hand, the situation of the man is also a matter of concern, as he was forced to get married to a person without his consent. Ultimately, it happens to be an unhappy marriage, which calls for a divorce. To rectify such a problematic situation within the society, every individual out there, and especially the feminists, should come forward to start campaigning about the repercussions of marrying a gay partner. We could find plenty of examples of such men, who had married for the sake of their families and faked their sexual orientation to society. Such fake relationships are toxic to both partners. They could not find peace and comfort in their married life that was doomed from the very beginning.

Moreover, one of the major reasons for a forceful marriage is that the manhood of a gay man is always being questioned in society. A person who belongs to an LGBTQIA community remains taboo in our culture and they are often being harassed in public spaces or being abused openly in the public. Shockingly in Britain, it has been reported by Lin Taylors, in Reuters, that gays, lesbians, and bisexuals have suffered violence within their homes and families that does not hold any official record.

Jasvinder Sanghera, head of Karma Nirvana (British charity) says, “They are made to feel like who they are, is dishonorable and shameful, and they have had exorcisms performed on them involving whipping and beatings.” Such incidents are horrible. These need the immediate attention of the people, so that changes may be made to provide a safe environment to the LGBTQIA people.

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Shormita Bose

Shormita Bose, is pursuing PhD in English literature from GLA University, Mathura. She has completed her M.A. & B.A. from University of Allahabad. She has contributed her research article in the edited book- Human Rights: Issues, Challenges and Present Status and also written an article in the anthology -Words That Stay Forever. Currently, she is working on her own edited book- Women and Queers: The Marginalized Gender.