No Escape from Reality

Shivani pens an evocative and poignant short story about domestic abuse and crime against woman and child. An exclusive for Different Truths.

“All of us are just built of minute fragments of the past and the hopes of the future that is yet to come.”

This is a story of a girl named Shubhi, she was really young when her life changed drastically, digging her dreams and ambitions into a hole of despair, anguish and the bitter truth. As you all know being a woman in India comes with a lot of consequences, which we might be unaware of because of the huge opportunities and the education we get. Was it really worth it?

May 11^th, 2014

“Sushma, I am going out for a while, Keep my nightclothes ready on the bed and don’t dare to investigate where I am. Do not wait. Sleep after doing the dishes. Understood?” my father roared at my mother. She, with her head staring at her own toes, always listened and followed. I was only six and I used to peep out of my door to witness this episode every day, and every day I used to cry to the fights and the screams. My mom wasn’t a fighter though, she was a frail lady, extremely patient and helpless, with no liveliness in her eyes, she deserved a better husband. My dad was an alcoholic. Even though he used to work at a very reputed place and owned a great position, he failed to be a good husband or even a good father.

“Sushma, I am going out for a while, Keep my nightclothes ready on the bed and don’t dare to investigate where I am. Do not wait. Sleep after doing the dishes. Understood?” my father roared at my mother. She, with her head staring at her own toes, always listened and followed. I was only six and I used to peep out of my door to witness this episode every day, and every day I used to cry to the fights and the screams.

Every night he would gamble away all the money he ever earned and only bought what he needed, by that I mean he never bought my mother any new clothes, or anything else. My mother was forced to marry him because of his financial and social status. But people really are unaware of what a person is from inside. Every morning, I would hear screams from the kitchen. breaking glasses, rudeness, howls, and everything that would break a little kid, my age. I was a mistake, my dad never wanted me, if he ever wanted a child, he wanted a boy.

My mother’s only hope was me and I always really wanted to give her all the support, always because I knew she was going through a lot, but what could I do? I was only six so every night I would hug her tight and sleep while wiping away the tears off her face and dirt off her feet.

August 19^th, 2019 

There was a sudden bang on the door, as disturbing and loud as thunder, mom ran towards the door to see to the situation. I woke up too. It was my dad, wobbling, all drunk, covered in the smell of alcohol and his shirt was ripped apart, with stains on his bare arms, stains of blood, not his own but someone else’s.

Suddenly, the air in the house was filled with confusions, sadness and panic. The sight was unbearable. I was told to run inside my room and lock the doors immediately. I did so because mom said so. But I could hear everything. He harassed my mother, she was screaming for help, but I was really scared to go out because I was told to stay inside.

Suddenly, the air in the house was filled with confusions, sadness and panic. The sight was unbearable. I was told to run inside my room and lock the doors immediately. I did so because mom said so. But I could hear everything. He harassed my mother, she was screaming for help, but I was really scared to go out because I was told to stay inside. I did not know what to do, my mom was screaming, crying howling, my dad was continuously telling her to shut up but she didn’t.

My dad got extremely irritated and he stabbed her in the stomach eighteen times and slept on the floor, not being able to realise what had he done. I went out as all the screams faded away in the dark of the night, I was unaware and scared, I walked into the room and I was shocked, I screamed out loud. I stood there for a while hoping to feel my mothers frail hands on my arms, comforting me, because I couldn’t see her like that.

Her naked body was on the bed with the white sheets of the bed soaking all her blood, she was lying blue and cold on the bed with a knife in her stomach, her calm eyes closed. Forever. The air of anguish had taken over the house.

Her naked body was on the bed with the white sheets of the bed soaking all her blood, she was lying blue and cold on the bed with a knife in her stomach, her calm eyes closed. Forever. The air of anguish had taken over the house.

The monster was laying right on the floor, still breathing. I wanted to run away otherwise he would kill me too and I did. With the past in my head, with the image of my mother laying cold on the bed, with the harassment, to start new and to make my mother proud, wherever she was, she was better suited for the stars.

At least she was at peace now!

Heartbreak opens onto a sunrise,

For every breaking is an opening

And I am broken, I am open.

Open to the new light pushing in

Open to the possibilities within, pushing out.

See the love shine in through my cracks, see the light shine in through me?

I am broken, I am open.

I am broken open.

My spirit takes a journey, my spirit takes flight.

Could not have risen otherwise,

And I am not running, I am choosing.

Running is not a choice from the breaking

Breaking is freeing

Broken is freedom

I am not broken.

I am free.

And I went on with life. Years passed. That monster was caught and jailed, I fought for my mother. I fought for myself. I am in college now. I am all the past that has built me.

And I went on with life. Years passed. That monster was caught and jailed, I fought for my mother. I fought for myself. I am in college now. I am all the past that has built me. I have seen the dark side and spent many years being too sensitive but now all I hope is to be a mother, as good as my own. And give my child all the comfort that my mother gave me and marrying, not by the image but by the heart.

Thank you, mother.

Photo from the Internet