The Story of Nothing

Shivani traverses three worlds: mental, metaphysical and the physical, tangible and the real. She motivates her peer(s). An exclusive for Different Truths.

It was a long night. Broken bottles all around the floor, with traces of champagne spilt all over. A blade was lying on the sofa, with the air heavy with the smell of smoke and sweat. The surroundings were all dirty, with the refrigerator wide open, plugged out. The food, all spilt around, like something very strange had happened that night. The kitchen slabs were all sticky and dirty. The walls had imprints of muddy hands and oily hands. Nobody was able to really figure out what had happened there the night before. The bathrooms had empty wine bottles and some even had leftover pizzas and the smell that hung in the environment was heavy and rotten.

It was a long night. Broken bottles all around the floor, with traces of champagne, spilt all over. A blade was lying on the sofa, with the air heavy with the smell of smoke and sweat. The surroundings were all dirty, with the refrigerator wide open, plugged out. The food, all spilt around, like something very strange had happened that night. The kitchen slabs were all sticky and dirty. The walls had imprints of muddy hands and oily hands. Nobody was able to really figure out what had happened there the night before.

The neighbours were trying to look for someone around the house. Anyone. There was no one in the bedrooms. No one on the couch, carpets, bathrooms, restrooms, garage, nowhere. It looked like a house party was held there last night. But, at night, there was no sound of music or cars pulling in or any sort of disturbance. It was really strange that so many things were just lying around. And the owner of the house had disappeared.

They waited a while, till the evening and reported the case in the police station as the owner’s phonebook and everything were also not there in the house, no wallet, nothing. It also looked like a huge robbery case but seeing all the drinks and cigarettes and other things, it was definitely non-guessable what was going on!

“So much going on but seems like nothing?”

Now, obviously these are just fictional examples but let us try to extend our imagination out of the box a little, guess that’s what writing is all about. Anyway, what if we actually disappeared and nobody ever found out where we went? What if nobody knew if we are swept away from our room at night. while sleeping?

Now, let us connect these incidents to what actually happens in our heads. Because physically, we are where we are, but mentally, we can travel the whole world and still be where we are. That is what is known as the power of imagination. Where are we looking for happiness? What do we want in life? It’s always mostly defined by career, wealth, reputation, family, talent, et al.

Who is going to know? Nobody, unless they find out later, just like in these situations. Now, let us connect these incidents to what actually happens in our heads. Because physically, we are where we are, but mentally, we can travel the whole world and still be where we are. That is what is known as the power of imagination. Where are we looking for happiness? What do we want in life? It’s always mostly defined by career, wealth, reputation, family, talent, et al.

Nobody seems to care if the mind wants it. We just try to adapt ourselves to the situation because that’s what is the last choice left for us. Now, most of you might be thinking that I am just throwing away deception and false scenarios in the form of words, but hear me out once and try to think about it. Never wait for happiness to enter your life. Never. Try to enjoy every little moment. Like we think that we will finally be happy once we have a good job. This is just one example.

Now, if you are kind of getting what I am trying to say, read further. Everybody does not owe anything to the world. Nothing. By that I mean, the people who try to bring you down, making you feel self–deprived, mentally exhausted and discouraged; you know, I will say something interesting now: you are nobody unless you are somebody to yourself.

There are so many things like that, so in the course of getting that one job, we lose our sanity, stressing out, cribbing, whining. Why? And what if you don’t get the job? Are you just going sit back and wonder and cry yourself to sleep, thinking why are you not enough? Now, if you are kind of getting what I am trying to say, read further. Everybody does not owe anything to the world. Nothing. By that I mean, the people who try to bring you down, making you feel self-deprived, mentally exhausted and discouraged; you know, I will say something interesting now: you are nobody unless you are somebody to yourself. You are nobody, if you are working and putting effort in the wrong direction is satisfying everyone but you. You are no one if you have not yet stood up for what you want to be and what you want to do with your life. You are nobody, if you are just not happy with yourself, your schedule because you just seem to have ended up there. And there are so many substantial situations you are dreaming of while putting half the effort in the things that you are currently doing. You are nobody, if you don’t have day’s hour to appreciate yourself and have solid self-talk; nobody, if you don’t have a soul in your body.

You resemble a typical machine or a robot, which is basically, something highly functional, but functions according to others, obeys no one but the memory cards and things we put in it. You are not that if you are realising that you are becoming one. Then please work on it. “Find happiness in small things” is not just another cliché quote, to be put as your caption and Instagram stories. Only if you try to understand those five words, they will help you a lot in miraculous ways.

But so many teenagers and early adults and even older people are often caught with a phrase, “I am feeling empty. I feel nothing. I am not feeling the fire anymore. It feels plain and purposeless”, they say. It means that it makes more sense to them as much as it might not to someone else. Who would probably ask them to get some medical help or laugh it out or simply just say that it’s okay and it will pass?

Apart from that, feeling of nothing…that might seem like a strange thing to say or to understand, like the seemingly impossible stories above. But so many teenagers and early adults and even older people are often caught with a phrase, “I am feeling empty. I feel nothing. I am not feeling the fire anymore. It feels plain and purposeless”, they say. It means that it makes more sense to them as much as it might not to someone else. Who would probably ask them to get some medical help or laugh it out or simply just say that it’s okay and it will pass? But this is really common. So why do we tend to ignore this or simply why do we not know how to deal with this? If happiness can be shared and so freely and celebrated so expressively, so why do we find it hard to reach out to someone to share their grief?

Why does it become ‘awkward’ for us if a person cries out loud, leaving us speechless and making a perception in our heads that the person is weak? Well, what may nothing feel like? Like let me give you an example, if you stare into the night sky, without clouds or stars or even the moon, what do you see? A black abyss of nothing. But obviously, there is so much there. If you stare at an ocean, you see blue shades of green, movement of waves, while you don’t know that there is so much more. A lot more than you know. It’s the same as staring at something for a long time until the thing seems to disappear and we start hallucinating. That’s usual with optical illusions. So, feeling nothing feels something similar. You are there but you’re not. You see a whole life in front of you but you feel purposeless. You are feeling so many emotions but are able to express none. You are ready for criticism but it blasts your head when someone doesn’t understand.

You want so much. You seem to have nothing. And even if you do, you sit in the bathroom asking questions. But, you don’t have answers to any. It’s a paralysis of emotion, expression, self–love, self–care, peace. And darkness clouding you in ways that you don’t realise it’s what is called nothing. The story of nothing, this is it! 

You want so much. You seem to have nothing. And even if you do, you sit in the bathroom asking questions. But, you don’t have answers to any. It’s a paralysis of emotion, expression, self-love, self-care, peace. And darkness clouding you in ways that you don’t realise it’s what is called nothing. The story of nothing, this is it!

But the day you come out of this feeling, you will look back and appreciate your self-growth, appreciate all the times when you would sit away thinking, feeling nothing. You will remember all this. And you will realise how much you have grown through. And I am sure you will, I am sure once you get there, you will want to once again prove to yourself that you have power over your emotions. And that’s when you will realise that you are just not a mere robot. You would have taken a walk and back from your dark side. You will know how to handle this next time. You will know your soul.

Nothing is a big word. It has a lot of meanings. If you are trapped in this empty space, I am proud of you to have been going through it. You will feel alive once you come out. It might seem hard to make it to the end. But don’t give up. You will soon get out of there and see how much of a favour our obstacles and problems do to us.

Photo from the Internet