An Emotional Journey Towards Parenthood Amidst Love, Sacrifice and Hope

Dr Surabhi tells us about Ameet Kaur, a woman preparing for an IVF procedure. She faces a crucial moment with heavy responsibility, making her reluctant to undergo sedation. Find out why, exclusively in Different Truths.

It’s an important day for Ameet Kaur (all names and places have been changed to conceal their real identities). As she sits comfortably on the green sofa, placed in the waiting area of an IVF unit, she smiles at the nurses, who are busy preparing the operating room for Ameet. In these nine days of treatment with injections, ultrasound, and blood tests, Ameet has become friendly with her attending nurses and doctors.

It’s been a very long and tiring journey for Ameet to achieve parenthood. She has been married for almost Twelve years now. Her husband is in the Army. She hails from Patiala, Punjab. The couple’s initial years of marriage were happier than now. Though Jagdeep, her husband, was on non-family postings and could not keep Ameet with him, his holidays twice a year were spent with Ameet and were real treats. He always treated Ameet like his little princess. He pampered her a lot.

After five years of marriage, they both had a strong urge to have a baby. Little did they know that they would have to consult so many doctors from Patiala, R and R Delhi, and the doctors in Kolkata, Nagpur, and Mumbai, wherever Jagdeep was posted, but they still couldn’t find a clue to the real problem.

Since Jagdeep hailed from Uttarakhand, he decided to visit an IVF center close to his farm, where his father stayed and his elder brother, his wife, and two sons managed the huge farm.

It was their last hope. They would otherwise adopt a baby.

Thirty minutes passed. Ameet was a little anxious. Her Oocyte pick-up was scheduled for 9 a.m., and it was 8.30 a.m. The anaesthetist had arrived. He was checking her blood reports and her respiratory and cardiovascular systems. Ameet smiled. She was a sweet girl. No makeup. No jewellery. No perfume. No nail paint and no hair accessories for the OT. In her pink-striped OT gown, she looked so pretty.

It was time to go to the OT now.

Ameet held her doctor’s hand firmly. Her colour changed. The doctor thought she was nervous. She tried to explain to her that it was a short procedure to be done under short sedation. She had nothing to panic about.

But to everyone’s surprise, Ameet started crying a lot.

Time was ticking fast. It was ten minutes to nine. The anaesthetist was getting so annoyed too. Ameet needed to tell her doctor something.

She yelled. She did not want the procedure under any kind of anaesthesia. Her doctor tried to explain that it would be extremely painful for her and that they may not be able to retrieve the Oocytes at all.

Ameet shared her quick story.

It was a story that moved everyone present. Her friendly nurse, her doctor, and her anaesthetist had tears in their eyes. Ameet confessed her problem. She had to give a sleeping pill to her father-in-law each time she stepped out of the house. Her father-in-law was in a deep depression for several years after his wife’s demise. Before Ameet learned about this, his older son and wife had been beating him for several years. Ameet had come home that summer with her husband to enjoy the mango season.

But she discovered the unrest in the family regarding the huge property her father-in-law owned.

Jagdeep’s elder brother wanted the entire farm in his name. Since his father refused, he was beaten up almost daily. He fell into depression. Ameet and her husband took him for several counselling sessions with good psychiatrists at R and R, Delhi, but the recovery was very slow. He would be happy in Ameet’s presence. Ameet took good care of him. Occasionally, she would drive him around the farm, too. But the moment Ameet stepped out of the house, he would be restless and throw up a fit. So, Ameet had to give him a pill if she wished to be away for long.

How could Ameet, with so much responsibility on her shoulders, think of getting sedated for this procedure? There was silence in the room. Everyone fell in love with Ameet instantly. Her immense suffering behind her sweet, smiling face moved everyone.

Her doctor held her hand gently and kissed her. She told her that all would be well and that she would ensure that she went home soon.

Ameet’s pick-up was done under anaesthesia. She had eight Oocytes retrieved. Everyone in the lab just prayed that Ameet’s IVF would succeed on the first attempt.

Think of your family today and every day.
Do not let the busy world of today
Keep you from showing how much you love and appreciate your family." —Josiah.

Painting and photograph by the author