The Freedom of Life Choices

Mani discusses career choices that children make and the role of parents. An exclusive for Different Truths.

“Two of the greatest gifts we can give our children are roots and wings” ~ Hodding Carter

From the day that we are born we start learning – schools, colleges and universities become an integral part of our lives. Although there are learning institutions for everything, there is one thing that is not taught in any of the learning centers, but you are expected to excel in, it’s called parenting.

There is no right or wrong in parenting and there are no set rules but still some do better than others, why is that?

Keep Children Close

I am no expert but in a lot of senses when I look at my kids, I somewhere feel I have done okay! Why I say that, because somehow, I have managed to keep my children very close to me. Somehow, they still trust me, believe in me. They look up to me and they discuss everything that is happening in their lives with me.

I think either I got lucky or maybe there is a small chance that I cracked the most difficult puzzle of all.

I would love to share my thoughts with you and would feel really accomplished if I make a difference in even one person’s life.

I strongly believe that our support for our kids should be unconditional.

I will share a story.

Thinking About Future

My daughter, like every kid, was not sure as to what she wants to become. I, like every other parent, always felt a little stressed thinking about her future.

In year 11, my daughter decided to opt for drama as one of her subjects. She is a very reserved child. But what do you do if she wants to join drama? You support her as again no one knows why one wants to do anything. As it was not clear what she wanted to do we (me and my partner in crime, my husband) just said okay for all her choices. Although my husband was not very convinced looking at her nature and personality.

In the beginning, the drama classes disappointed her a lot. As the teacher would never notice her in the class as if she was invisible. She was convinced she made the wrong choice.

Performance Preparation

Days passed and then the final performance preparation time came. She was given the role of a lady, who was very cunning, rude, and sassy. None of which my daughter is.

One day, during her practice the teacher said that maybe she was not suited for the role. And that if she did not do better the role will be given to someone else.

That day my daughter came home very sad and discussed the matter with me.

I told my daughter that she had two options, one is easy and the other hard but way more satisfying.

Option 1: You drop the role and take a smaller insignificant one instead, the easy option

Option 2: You prove the teacher wrong, the more satisfying option.

Support and Guidance

She chose the second option. And she practiced the script at home under my support and guidance.

Her performance was a huge success and she got 100% for her assessment.

That was the night she came to me and said, “Mumma, I really enjoyed acting and being on the stage and above all I loved being cunning, rude and sassy.” She also said that how good it would be if she could be on stage all the time and be able to do things and be people that you cannot ever do or be otherwise.

It is this day that she started thinking of maybe pursuing a career in acting.

She told me her interest and we started working towards it together.

Enhance Skills

The time that we were completely engrossed in looking for ways to further enhance her skills. And trying to know universities, which will help her learn acting. I also had to face the brunt of conventional thinking.

It is sad but people even today think that a career means becoming a doctor, engineer, lawyer, or a chartered accountant. If one has different interests those are considered as hobbies.

So, people would ask me, “So acting is her interest but what is she wanting to become” or “what is her plan B?” Somehow becoming an actor was not good enough. Even members of my family would ask what your plan B is.

No Plan B

People still say, what will she do if she cannot become an actor? I tell them that she will continue to try and keep trying until she gets where she wants to be. Just because this line does not give you an instant monetary gain, which the other mentioned lines do, it does not mean that the plan would be to choose a conventional line. As such there can be no plan B ever!

Our job as parents is to support our kids in their chosen fields and give them the guidance and strength to never give up.

I understand that it is easy to say all this but hard to act. All of us need to survive and pay bills. In my case, while my daughter is working towards her chosen field, she is also working as a dental assistant for three days in a week. This gives her the money she needs to cover her expenses. And working part time also gives her the days to keep working towards her main career.

Career Options

In today’s world, career options are infinite. I understand and appreciate the parents’ side where they want to see a successful and a secure future for their kids. I also feel that parents should start trusting the kids and redefine success, which comes in all forms, colour and shapes.

Let’s all just stand beside our children and support, love and believe in them unconditionally.

I have discussed this in one of my episodes on my YouTube channel:

https://youtu.be/6Yyo9ErmU1s .

Thank you, catch you all soon.

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