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Here’s a hilarious spoof, by Mitali, on films. She finds multimedia experience strange too and argues in favour of books. An exclusive for Different Truths.
I was watching a movie — a Bollywood take on the grand Mughal emperor, Akbar1. A romantic one I guess, as it was a movie about how he found acceptance in the heart of his Rajput bride, Jodha. I am not going to go into the historicity or the non-historicity of the movie or the quality of acting or music or recommend or unrecommend it to my readers, but I am going to raise another issue. An issue that is unique and practical and would hold perhaps for all stars of Bollywood, Hollywood, Tollywood, Kollywood and basically, all-wood named filmdom.
As the actor playing Akbar bent over the actress enacting Jodha to express an intense moment of meeting of hearts … a thought came to my mind…. If he had bad breath or body odour, what would the actress do?
As the actor playing Akbar bent over the actress enacting Jodha to express an intense moment of meeting of hearts, as his face lowered on hers, inch by millimetre, a thought came to my mind, and I could not help but laugh out loud. If he had bad breath or body odour, what would the actress do? Would she continue for the sake of earning her daily bread or walk off the scene? Or it could be vice versa… what would the actor do if the actress had BO, etc…?
You see, I have this problem. When movies or serials become too long or emotional, I find my mind wanders into other dimensions. As others discuss technical skills, acting and cinematography, I wander into the area of either somnolence or the ludicrous. My family gets upset because my conscious self leaves them watching the TV show or film. They grumble when after a refreshing nap on the sofa in front of the screen, while expressing my opinions in loud snores (a legacy inherited from my father), I wake up to ask them to fill me in. Or I am filled with a craving to re-watch the show. Sometimes, I have huge memory lapses and forget I have watched a film.
I am told — that is because I slept through most of it!
What people do not understand is — my eyes close of their own volition!
What people do not understand is — my eyes close of their own volition! In any case, that happens rarely with the after-dinner Marvel serials in which women beat up men — I like to watch those with my boys because I do not want them to think men can dominate over women. This is my move to oppose patriarchy! As for the Bollywood takes like Jodha Akbar, I watch them all alone, as a solitary soul. None of them watch with me! They profess to have no time.
Once I tried to build bridges as Bollywood stars do by talking amity with people across the Radcliffe line with a friend in China (though, there we have the McMahon line), a Pakistani-British lady who spent all her life in the UK. She swore by Bollywood and Indian variants of spices like garam masala. Her dream was to visit Mumbai and stand in front of the Bachchan mansion. She could not because she was not given an Indian visa, she confided, for no reason other than having ties on the other side of the border. She was amazed I had not paid homage to the star’s residence despite being born an Indian and having spent two whole decades in India. She was further amazed when I told her while watching Kabhi Khushi, Kabhi Gham2 (how do you translate that? Sometimes happiness, sometimes sorrow?), I fell asleep. She had watched it four times and cried every time she professed. Well, I told her I had almost read all the Harry Potters four times each. Four being the number to connect I felt. I dozed off during the Harry Potter films too. Four was the best way to draw the bridge I felt as a bridge has four corners. Furthermore, I do not know if helicopters on the driveway were ever a reality for the environmentally conscious Royalty in Britain3 — though they are in Bachchan, James Bond, Indiana Jones films and futuristic planes do pick up Professor Langdon from his doorstep in Dan Brown books and movies. I have also read that multiple helipads are a reality in the Ambani residence in Mumbai4.
I personally, would prefer to teleport, like they do in Star Trek
I personally, would prefer to teleport, like they do in Star Trek5. Imagine, I could be at Easter Island watching the sunrise and breakfasting, in Mexico City for a burrito bowl at lunch and in Istanbul for a dinner with nice kebabs. The next day, I could be at Stonehenge for breakfast and so on and so forth… I would have visited the pyramids of Egypt and the Inca temples — only if I could teleport — and I would sleep at home each night in front of the TV watching or dosing through Indiana Jones! They do travel to multiple countries for shooting a few lines of a song in Bollywood and Kollywood, I think. Then why could I not travel for a whole meal and that too by teleporting, without causing any damage to the environment or using fossil fuels? I wonder when teleportation will be a reality? That for me is more exciting than a helicopter on the driveway or rooftop.
You see the issue with watching a screen is that you get lulled into a state of somnolence. When you read, your brain is actively drawing up images and making comparisons — like recently while reading Alex Haley’s Roots6, I was thinking of Conrad’s Heart of Darkness7… both go into similar trails in quest of something intangible. In Roots, we read it from the perspective of an African and in Heart of Darkness from the perspective of a colonial. What is even more dramatic is the way American Revolution unfolds from the perspective of slaves in Roots as opposed to the story that unfolds in Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind8 from the perspective of a plantation owner.
I find these connections interesting and look for the whole picture to understand a bit of how the human mind works.
I was excited in anticipation when they made a serial of Asimov’s Foundation novels — I have read and reread most of them.
I was excited in anticipation when they made a serial of Asimov’s Foundation novels9 — I have read and reread most of them. Needless to say, the television serial departs from the story completely and takes a strange life of its own to the point that it lulled me to sleep through episodes three and four — I did not even want to re-watch as it seemed like any other sci-fi serial10 with strange murders, violence, and clones. The very essence of the book was lost for me. When I had imagined Trantor after reading the books, it was so different.
A film never matches a book. Though I love Clarke Gable’s nonchalance when he peeks out of the sofa to greet an angry Vivian Leigh11, I still feel the book had much more than the movie could capture. A good book takes me on a journey of the soul and leaves an eternal imprint on my being, but a film entertains me for a short while and sometimes ends untimely with me falling asleep. And yet, now people talk of multimedia experience! Are books then to be eternally laid to rest and will my kind join the dinosaurs?
I don’t think so… because you are still reading this, aren’t you?
References:
1 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jodhaa_Akbar
2 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kabhi_Khushi_Kabhie_Gham…
5 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek
6 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roots:_The_Saga_of_an_American_Family
7 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_of_Darkness
8 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gone_with_the_Wind_(novel)
9 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foundation_series
10 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foundation_(TV_series)
11 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gone_with_the_Wind_(film)
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