International Women’s Day 2023: Let Women Fly High!

Dr Molly deliberates on International Women’s Day and opines that they should be allowed to fly high – a Special Feature exclusively for Different Truths.

How much water had flowed under the bridge since women started raising their voices, carving out their space! Feminist bandwagons had spearheaded many triumphant and flourished. The atrocities against women had been brought to book by many stringent laws. But could we bring on a qualitative change in society’s mindset towards the treatment of women giving them their due role in the scheme of things?

Against feminist and liberalist outcries treating maternity as a vantage point of subjugation for man’s and society’s exploitation, I always argued that maternity is our strong point in establishing our right as the creative principle of life, as moulders of the future.  I prefer the term “womanism” over “feminism.” There is no need to clamour for equality, but we need to gather the confidence to carve out a niche of our own as a woman, which no man matches but envy.

Yes, today, women’s verticals are open career-wise, talent-wise, and choice-wise. Those who aspire and persevere climb up the ladder.  Those who meekly succumb to circumstances still suffer. Gone are the days of wallowing in self-pity and sympathy.

Women, we need to rise above the platitudes and complacency.  Vast is the sky that unfolds above us.

The conversation with a young mother – a professional today, her pangs made me write this. Here is a very talented girl, bright in studies, being the only daughter among the twins her parents lost. She grew up sensing the sorrow of her parents over the lost child and was struggling throughout to bring cheer and happiness to them. For that, she was ready to sacrifice her own choices for marriage. But it only made the parents mount up more expectations on her, tailoring even her care and concern for her husband and family.  I could see her struggle to catch up in between. But she managed and was smart enough to do the tightrope walk. She pursued her studies, did research work, managed the household, minded her babe, appeasing her husband and families on both sides. Yes, her life was a constant process of redefining the word ‘adjustment.’

Isn’t it the fate of many a working woman of our times? If she needs an outlet for her passions, be it her choice of profession, art or writing, how much condescension she has to avail from the environment around her?  Life grows into such a brutal fight against the odds!

Today, what upset me more was her telling me her husband, who shared some understanding and support, was turning against her, flouting her survival struggle or management mantra. The fact was his frustration with his job and its challenges, for which he was making her the punch box.

Her earnest question to me rent deep, “Mam, am I that much of a failure who cannot satisfy my parents, husband, and others?”

For the first time, I felt a tremor in her voice as if from one on the verge of a precipice.
To lose faith in oneself is the worst disaster you can run into.

I reassured her, “O, no, dear…believe in yourself…. You are the best! The best of a daughter, wife, mother, and professional. Buck up, don’t falter….”

When the immediate environment devours the woman like this, how can the woman of our times be happy? They mount up heaps and expectations on her, stifling and suffocating her.  Her inner tensions hold the potential danger of explosion, self-destruction and annihilation. Does society realise that? No laws or external interventions can prevent this, except for a more understanding treatment. The woman is not a punch box to be pummelled against, taken for granted, everywhere, every time!

World, give the woman the space to fly, to thrive. She will work wonders, cheering the world!

Three cheers to “Womanism”!

Picture design by Anumita Roy