In-House Women Vs. Out-House Women

Rekha talks about women who choose to work versus those who prefer to be a homemaker. An interesting contrast, exclusively for Different Truths.

In this time of pandemic, as the whole universe is hankering to get back to the ‘old normal’ I have been thinking! By the way, I must confess, I am quite happy in this ‘new normal’!

Here I am compelled to change the old adage, ‘an idle mind is a devil’s workshop’ to ‘An idle mind is a thinker’s workshop’. In both cases, be it a thinker or a devil, it’s not a very comfortable situation to be in.

I have been thinking about a lot of women lately or should I say a few categories of women? Being a woman, I guess it is easy to relate to them and their mental constitution. Without much ado, let me come straight to the point.

When I was a child, it was very unusual to know that some of my mother’s friends went to work. Did they have a sense of pride in them? And I would wonder why is that my mom never went to work. But that was the ‘normal’ back then I guess! Moreover, as a child, I also think we did not think so deep or get into the skin of the matter. We would just allow it to pass off as absolutely normal. The best about our time was that we never thought or worked our heads so much we had other distractions to keep us engaged. And we have encapsulated into a kind of rigour and discipline that everything was time bound! And we did not have so much time to ‘think’.

Now, after so many years and I have gone through so many phases of life, one phase has remained untouched, unchanged, and that is my job front. It’s been almost 30 years since I started working and still going on! And I have learnt a huge lesson in life.

What I am going to write is my very own experiences and people, who I am referring to are not fictitious but in some way connected to me. Hope by the end of this article, there will be many readers who will be in agreement and feel – Thank God, I am working!

It is absolutely imperative for every educated woman to be employed. I say this with conviction because I know for sure the takeaways that come with it. And nothing in this world can be more rewarding! Apart from making you financially independent, it also instils in you a sense of pride, dignity and honour that is beyond comparison.

Does it mean that women who are totally stay- at- home are good for nothing? Not at all, but if we have to raise our bar of self-respect, worth and recognition then I feel, a combo of a home maker-cum-working woman is definitely the answer. Given the growing complexities in relationships, this becomes more mandatory especially in situations where husbands are chauvinists and don’t give their wives space or freedom to be for reasons whatever may be. Please don’t think that this is the 21st century so do we really have such a breed of men? Let me ask you this, why do you want a man to validate your worth and existence?

I know of women, who are well equipped professionally but still choose to be at home and stay busy with household chores. They find immense happiness in dusting up and cleaning up. These jobs are necessary but not at the cost of being labelled a ‘housewife’, which has now been up-scaled into a ‘homemaker’! I know of young women, who have spent a huge sum of money as fees to be armed with engineering degrees but have ended up in the confines of their homes with their sole responsibility of looking after their ‘homes and families’. Does one need to become so well armed to do the so-called household chores?

I really don’t understand the psyche behind this attitude! There have been so many times when I have had this strong desire to shake them up and tell them – hey you woman, get your act together and step out, get out of these most familiar walls that may in due course suffocate you and experience the unfamiliar, the unchartered territory that will surely liberate you!  Why don’t they realize that there’s a beautiful world out there that’s beckoning them with open arms! A world, full of people and an ocean of opportunities!

Some women may think it is too trivial and being home is all that they want. But that is because they have not savoured the fresh air and fragrances of outside or the bright sun that lights up the day and so many such wonders of nature. If one does not want to think so philosophically, then there are other reasons too — being in a job gives a sense of freedom, dignity and pride.

To put it more bluntly, the salary that comes regularly into the account holds a lot of meaning. The joy of being able to spend one’s own money without the embarrassment of having to be asked or questioned! And most importantly, it emancipates you from the shackles of dependence. Isn’t that what should be the top of the list priority in life? It is imperative that women understand their worth and stop becoming financially dependent on husbands, sons, brothers and fathers.

Is a degree a mere jewel to be adorned or just a certificate to prove that – yes, I too am educated! Well, what use is the degree if I have not been able to put it into practical use or making a sincere payback to the society of which I am an integral part? I know of many young girls who just want a professional degree that can be used as a ladder to reach the comforts of a relaxed, wedded life, where the man is well placed and highly educated! Their sole purpose in life – having a beautiful apartment in an upscale locality, frequent trips, dining out in plush restaurants and to go shopping – ‘When I am stressed or blue!’ Well, I must say that this is the most hollow and shallow of all meanings to life and living. I surely agree that money can buy happiness to a great extent but that is not permanent. Instead, if we live a life that is more purposeful and driven, we will find a very different kind of happiness and satisfaction that is more persistent.

I would like to also reiterate that we are definitely better than men when it comes to being employed. We are better organisers, make more meaningful use of time, we enjoy a much higher degree of job satisfaction, we are great listeners, more empathetic and most importantly our burn out rate is much lower than our wonderful counterparts. I have no intentions of underestimating men but that I am only tempting women to tap their abilities and skills that will enable them to enjoy a sense of worth, well being and live in constant wonder!

I would like to close with the words of Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, “We need women at all levels, including the top, to change the dynamics, reshape the conversations, to make sure women’s voices are heard and heeded, not overlooked and ignored”

Photo from the Internet