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Tribute: Decoding the Reserved Love of a Military Dad

Dear Dad,

Where are you
now, this moment?
on top, top
of all
as the
floating
stardust
its tiny
particles
inseparable
from
cosmic soul
beyond the
thingness of
things?

spreading
all around watching
us?

beyond the
thick-layered
clouds
fathoming
the non- gravitational,
exploring
dark holes,
worm holes,
are you
seeking
the borderless
borders
of the infinite?

your total
abandon,
blissful
freedom,
is it the
heaven, where you
hold meetings with
our dear
departed?

how many
a time
I visualised
you there
in those
horizons remote,
where
the crazy,
crest of
waves, roar mad,
break their
heads on
rocky cliffs,

lie exhausted
seeking rest
snuggling into
the dim canopy
where the
sea and sky
merge...
or
are you
embedded in
the silence of
the slanting
snowcapped mountains, their
serene slopes
imbued with
meanings
hidden?

Dad, how I
remembered
you in my sea
and sky travels
You being
the Air Force
Personnel
traversing
seas and
skies
especially
during
war time
when under
the British
rule
Indian army
was forced to
march across
Burma…
that too
the hard time
when the
news reached
you,
that with her
first delivery
you lost
your wife!

O, Dad!
how you reeled under pain
far, far away
in your barrack,
not getting
even a
last glimpse
of her...
Dad!
your
pain-ridden
pathways
my learning
lessons!
later,
much later
how you
came back
when your
parish called
you, being
their most qualified teacher
to run a school!

how you
moulded
fostered
generations
at St. Philominas H.S., Koonammavu!

me,
schooling under you
as the Headmaster's daughter!

later, when
I passed out
as school
topper
I well
remember
the glint in
your eyes,
your guarded appreciation
in the corner of
your mouth
You
much noted
for your
restraint,
reticence
a vital part
of your
military discipline!

years have
flit across...

here am I
on these
shores
where
your foot pronts
lie interred
deep ...

your daughter
releasing her
latest
books!

Dad! Bless me!
I can see
your guarded
smile
of appreciation
in the corners of
your mouth...
are you
caressing us
as the soft wind
brushing
over us,
now
this moment!

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