Redefining Parenting: Are we Force Feeding Our Kids?

Mani tells us how she learned from a mistake. It’s improper to force feed our little children. An exclusive for Different Truths.

The food tastes better when one is hungry.

We as parents always feel that we need to take care of our children. It includes providing them with a balanced diet at frequent intervals of a day.

We fail to acknowledge that hunger and thirst are like pain in some ways. I mean if a child is in pain, they will indicate that by crying. Similarly, when they are hungry, they will indicate in some way. All we need to understand is to recognise those signs.

Today, my kids are grown up. They can define their needs, as and when these occur. However, I learnt the hard way.

A Flashback

Flashback to the time my daughter had just turned one. I remember the day very clearly, as it was my day off.

In India, in every household with a small child, there is a set routine where in the morning they go through a massage session (maalish). And then bath and after that food and then sleep.

We have seen that the most time consuming and strenuous part of this routine is to feed the child.

Two Maids

We were at that time in Bharuch, as my husband was working in telecom company, and we were staying in the company’s colony. I had two maids at the time, one was for cooking and cleaning, while the other was to help me with the child (a luxury we take for granted in India).

That dreadful day, after the bath, as per the routine we started feeding my daughter. It was always a struggle and consumed a lot of our times. These helping hands played a very important part. It is only when they danced or made weird noises, my daughter would laugh (open her mouth). It was an opportunity for me to shove food into her small beautiful perfect mouth. She had no option but to swallow it.

We all felt accomplished once the bowl was finished. And I felt happy that I had succeeded in providing the nutrients my child needed for the day.

Fed Her Many Times

One day, soon after the food ceremony my daughter threw up. I was really concerned. However, as “there are some natures too noble to bend or too lofty to curb” I had to feed her. So, I tried again and again and again and again. But she kept throwing up.

Late in the afternoon, I knew something was not right and that a doctor’s intervention was required. I rushed to her doctor. The minute the doctor saw her she immediately admitted her as she was suffering from Rotavirus (gastro) and he advised that milk and milk products were poison for her.

I had never felt more defeated as on the day since morning. All I had done was to force my daughter to eat milk-based food. And I regretted it so much.

She was in the hospital for five days, fighting for her life. I think those were the toughest days for me.

Highly Detrimental

It was with this experience that I came to know that one should not force kids to eat. Sometimes what we think is best for our children could instead be highly detrimental.

Since that I stopped forcing food on anyone. Today, in my house, everyone eats when they want and what they want. The only work I have done is that I have instilled knowledge in my kids to differentiate good from bad in all aspects of life including food.

I believe Indian mothers should change their overprotective nature. Obsession of their children to a bit more understanding, trusting, and take it easy attitude and maybe the change will help our kids to be more independent, healthy, and self-reliant. Then these will make them grow into better human beings.

Make Them Happy

Teach them to be good to themselves. No one has the power to make them happy. Not even us, the parents.

I have discussed this in one of my episodes on my YouTube Channel, Bindaas Baatein. You watch the episode

https://youtu.be/GZ7k7tyRXPk  .

Visual by Different Truths