Smoke and Shadows: Teenage Rebellion and Reminiscence

In this poem, Rhiannon states that Asim and she sat in the smokers’ garden, reflecting on past encounters – exclusively for Different Truths.

We rolled movie tickets
smoked their plastic-paper
trying to look cool.
Our shoulders slouched over
crossed legs, rotunda-sitting 
in the smokers' garden

I thought we looked pretty 
legit—not coughing like when 
Alex passed around a menthol
behind the toilet block at school
and I bum puffed—smoke-filled, 
my mouth ballooned my cheeks. 

Now, another rounds his shoulders
compressing himself, 
shrinking out of sight.
Asim avoids eye contact.
Cleans windows—his penance
for selling dope on camp.
His dad is coming, will be
taking him home a day early.  

In year 9, I bought my
first pack of cigarettes. They were
in my bag, under my lunch box.
Alex smiled at me, 
he wanted me to share, 
I felt visible for the first time. 

Tegan dobbed. I wasn’t suspended —
I had to talk with a counsellor, 
the pack was confiscated. 
Alex didn’t smile at me.

Asim is not me. But
I wonder if he has an Alex.

Picture design by Anumita Roy