Here’s a case study of Maya (name changed) and her trials and tribulations in the office and at her in-laws’ place. Hemashri takes a serious look at this girl’s life and reflects on the plight of her ilk in the weekly column. A Different Truths exclusive.

The sweet young girl is very simple, with no trace of makeup! This is a refreshing change from the usual well-kohl eyes and lips painted in hues of pink or red. She seems lost in her thoughts! She is Maya (name changed), the new computer operator at my office.

My protocol is to observe everyone I work with and read about them to get to know them. One day, I called this girl to my chamber for a cup of tea. She stood awkwardly, even though I had told her to take a seat. I was a bit annoyed and finally told her in a firm tone to sit comfortably; maybe I sounded harsh.

After having a cup of tea, as she was about to leave my chamber, she told me that she had been planning to resign and felt relieved to be able to talk to me. I learned that she is a qualified junior engineer in computer science. She was offered a salary of Rs. 6,000/-.

She is married, and her husband runs a small printing business where they employ a female employee who is paid Rs 6000/-. She lamented that there is no economic rationale for working in this office.

A few days back, I saw the government’s minimum wage set at Rs 470/- per day, which meant Rs 14,100/- for the entire month. So I realised that this girl, a diploma engineer, was being paid far less than a skilled labourer.

Gradually, this sweet girl became friendlier, like my most ladylike staff. One day, during a not-so-busy day in the office, she shared her story with me over a cup of tea. She has two sisters. The eldest is an architect who works at a private-sector company. She is the middle one, and the youngest is graduating with mathematics as her major. Maya loved mathematics, besides writing poems. She was planning to study mathematics after her engineering diploma. Suddenly, their father died. Family members would come to console the grieving family and then say what would happen to the helpless family without a male member. Their mother became worried and depressed. Maya was working in a private-sector organisation when a decent boy proposed to her. Finally, the boy wrote a poem to win her heart. Several suitors rejected Maya’s elder sister, an architect, because she is not gorgeous or very fair. So Maya thought that if she got married, her family would get a son-in-law, a male member. Thus, at 23, instead of pursuing her dream of studying mathematics, she decided to get married.

Maya said that after marriage, when she stepped into her in-laws’ house, she realised that marriage was not as rosy as it was depicted in the movies. Her mother-in-law made her realise why in Assamese it is said, “Son-in-law taking away the daughter and Jomraj (Lord of Death) taking away are the same thing” (Jowai nileu nia, Jome nileu nia). The lady made a point of narrating how much her able brother-in-law, an engineer, earned and how even her gold jewellery was made from his earnings. Furthermore, the mother-in-law would make sure her work was like a maid’s when she was home, leaving her with no time to rest or relax. One day, Maya heard her mother-in-law telling a neighbour that her daughter-in-law was a hopeless engineer. She has no money.

Another day, Maya arrived late at the office. I asked her why she was late. She told me that during the two-day break, she went to her in-laws’ place and was coming back from their house that day. She said that over the past two days, she could not eat a single meal peacefully. Her mother-in-law invited many people, and she spent both of her holidays cooking for the guests. Suddenly, beaming a smile, she said, “Today I feel so happy because for a few days I will not have to go there. Every time I come back from there, I feel like celebrating. Today, I will eat fuska, singara…” Like a small girl, she was excited and lost in her world.

I felt sharp pain thinking, ‘Why do the girls have to endure so much hardship and ill-treatment in the homes of their in-laws?’ Tried my best not to show her my emotions.

During a Friday, preceding a weekend, as I was about to leave the office, Maya told me, “Madam, these two days I will work day and night to complete a few assignments. I have to design wedding cards. I have started receiving orders.” Then, in a very thoughtful tone, she asked me something which silenced me. “Madam, after marriage, a girl’s life becomes blank, colourless, so black and white. I do not understand why the girls still want such colourful wedding cards.”

That day, as I came back home, I was thinking, have things changed in our families or in our homes? Despite qualifications, why is marriage still the greatest security for a girl? Why, in the largest democracy, does a family without a male member have to feel unsafe? Is it because we have failed to create a safe atmosphere for women? Why, after marriage, does a mother-in-law say that she has raised her son with such considerable sacrifice? Does not bringing up a daughter also involve the same sacrifices? Is every marriageable boy very handsome and fair? How dare these men demean a girl with such distasteful comments? 

My daughter is now fifteen! Will things change when she grows up? Finally, I ask myself, will I change not to fall back on this all-pervading syndrome, “Marry by an age just because her friends are married? Is human civilisation facing a threat of extinction that every girl must marry by a certain age? Should marriage have a particular season or age, or should it have only a reason – meeting the right person to spend the rest of one’s life with?

Will things change, or shall I be the change?

@Hemashri Hazarika Bora

Pictures from the Internet

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Hemashri Hazarika

Hemashri Hazarika is an Officer of the Assam Civil Service since 1997. Her research on Assam Civil Service brought reforms in 2015. A first-class Postgraduate in Economics from Gauhati University, she was awarded JRF/NET by UGC in 1997. Her experience as a bureaucrat has sensitised her to human sufferings. A solutionist by passion, she takes an active interest in issues related to Governance, Development, Women, Children, etc. Reading, Writing, Speaking and Painting are her hobbies.