‘The earth, the holy cow, and a mother have to endure (Dharti, Maiye, aur Gaye ko sahna parta hein),’ says a Bihar bureaucrat’s insensitivity to women’s suffering in the weekly column. A Different Truths exclusive.

Kundal Sinha was a beautiful Manipuri woman in her early 30s. She came to lodge a complaint, as her husband had not sent her a single penny to maintain the family for the last eight months. She was helpless as she could not maintain her two school-going sons. Both sons were compelled to drop out of school. She could not pay the rent, but somehow the aged landlady was sympathetic enough to let her stay. Sinha was somehow managing to survive with the support of her younger brother. We recorded her complaint with the officer-in-charge of the District Women’s cell. We traced her husband’s address, who is a BSF jawan posted in Punjab. We sent a letter to his officer in charge apprising him of the situation and asking him to send him for an appearance to hear both parties. Sinha, one day, turned up to say that her husband had come to Silchar, but he had not visited home. The man was having a torrid affair with the wife of his brother. Often it is a woman who torments another woman – what an irony! I decided to request the Superintendent of Police for assistance to compel his presence. After a telephonic discussion with the Superintendent of Police, I decided to visit his office with the lady.

This Superintendent of Police was a very interesting man who was convicted in a case related to a violation of human rights. He served his sentence in Tihar Jail, where his next-door cellmate was the controversial godman Chandraswami. Very often, he used to narrate to us stories of his jail days, ‘Jab mein Tihar mein tha…” A normal person would try to keep it a secret, but this man would share it with all to entertain. He was a generous man and a wonderful host, who used to throw lovely parties.

I narrated the plight of the distressed lady seeking his support to compel her irresponsible husband to appear. In response, the officer said something that made me feel furious. The District Women Cell was constituted under the Assam State Women Commission Act, and the district forums had no power to compel the appearance of individuals against whom complaints were lodged. So I needed his help, which is why I was there. The responsible officer, who was from Bihar, told me that day, “Madam, Bihar mein kahawat hein – Dharti, Maiye, aur Gaiye ko sahna parta hein (There is a Bihari proverb that mother, earth, the cow and a mother – they have to endure).” I felt I was wasting time talking to someone unreasonable and unsympathetic toward the poor lady. I handed over a letter requesting police assistance to produce Mr Sinha before the District Women’s Cell and left. After a few days, the man appeared before the district Women’s Cell. However, without paying any money, he left town. This time, we wrote to his office head to request that a portion of his salary be paid to his wife. The lady kept coming to my office, and I felt helpless because I couldn’t provide her prompt relief. I had written a letter to the Chairperson of the State Women’s Commission narrating the inconvenience we endure in the field due to insufficient legal authority to settle disputes. Even after I sent two reminders, I received no response.

One day, the owner of the parlour where I used to go for my haircut told me about a lady, Pronoti. Hers was a love marriage with a lecturer of Assam University. During her pregnancy, she did not receive proper care from her husband and mother-in-law. After a caesarean operation, she developed paralysis on one side of her body. She was sent for physiotherapy at the clinic next to the parlour. She and the parlour owner had become friends. This ailing lady used to narrate her stories of domestic abuse. My friend told me she would come to the parlour to have her nails trimmed, as she could not do it herself. The abused lady, with the help of a few neighbours, had lodged a complaint in the District Women’s Cell, said the parlour owner. I started my search operation to trace the complaint of Pronoti, married to one Depankar. After several weeks, I finally managed to trace a letter related to Pronoti. We received the letter nearly six months ago, but it has been sitting unopened since then. We pursued the case and read Pronoti’s complaint, which was a painful tale of a love marriage that had ended in disaster. The lady from Upper Assam had married a man belonging to another community without her parents’ consent. We served the vice-chancellor with letters to ensure the lecturer’s presence; the lecturer was her husband. He finally had to appear, but my senior officer, who was the chairperson of the District Women’s Cell, was very lenient towards the oppressive husband, which led to arguments, as I had protested. We were pursuing maintenance as Pronoti had already left for her mother’s home. My senior had agreed to an unreasonably low maintenance rate. The State Commission finally took up the matter. After a few months, I came to know from my friend who was running the beauty parlour that Pronoti was suffering from cancer. Perhaps my senior male colleague also believed, “Dharti, Maiye, aur Gaye ko sahna parta hai.”

We have so many Acts to safeguard the interests of women, but have we implemented them effectively? A piece of legislation remains a piece of paper until it is implemented in the right spirit. This country perhaps possesses too many laws for women. We now need to work on the right framework for implementing our legal provisions, and perhaps a crucial issue is the sensitisation of law-enforcing agencies. Until and unless we handle such issues with sensitivity, people with a feudal, sadistic mentality will reduce them to jokes.

How long can the earth, the holy cow, and a mother endure it all?

©Hemashri Hazarika

Photos from the Internet

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Hemashri Hazarika

Hemashri Hazarika is an Officer of the Assam Civil Service since 1997. Her research on Assam Civil Service brought reforms in 2015. A first-class Postgraduate in Economics from Gauhati University, she was awarded JRF/NET by UGC in 1997. Her experience as a bureaucrat has sensitised her to human sufferings. A solutionist by passion, she takes an active interest in issues related to Governance, Development, Women, Children, etc. Reading, Writing, Speaking and Painting are her hobbies.