Responding to IIT-Bombay’s tragic suicide, Sarika urges DifferentTruths.com readers to prioritise children’s mental health and look far beyond academic grades.

This article is not about a professor allegedly catching a student cheating in IIT-Bombay.

It is not about caste.

It is not about the quota system in Indian education.

And it is not about deciding who got justice.

It is about something much bigger.

Are we really educating our children?

We have become very good at preparing children for exams.

We teach them how to score more, rank higher, get into IITs, clear NEET, crack UPSC, enter the “right” university, choose the “right” career, and build a successful future.

And yes, education and ambition matter.

But somewhere along the way, I wonder if we have forgotten to teach them something equally important:

How to live when life doesn’t go according to plan.

How to deal with failure.

How to cope with rejection.

How to handle pressure and comparison.

How to accept disappointment.

How to change direction when a dream doesn’t work out.

How to ask for help without feeling ashamed.

And most importantly: how to look after your ward’s mental health.

Mental health cannot be something we talk about only when a tragedy happens.

Please don’t ignore mental health.

A child may be achieving academically and still be struggling emotionally.

A student may be smiling, attending classes, and submitting assignments while silently carrying enormous pressure.

A high score does not necessarily mean a healthy mind.

And a setback does not mean a failed life.

Research in child and adolescent development consistently highlights the importance of supportive relationships, emotional regulation, coping skills, belonging, and the ability to seek help when facing adversity.

Academic achievement matters.

But it is only one part of a person’s development.

Yet our conversations with young people so often sound like:

“What did you score?”

“What rank did you get?”

“Which college?”

“What are you going to do in the future?”

Perhaps we need to add two much simpler questions:

“How are you, really?”

And:

“Do you need help with anything?”

Our children spend years preparing for competitive exams. They learn mathematics, physics, biology, technology, and countless other subjects.

But who is teaching them how to sit with disappointment?

Who is teaching them that failure is an event — not an identity?

Who is teaching them that changing direction is not the same as failing?

Who is teaching them that asking for help is an act of courage, not weakness?

And perhaps most importantly:

Who is teaching them that their worth is not determined by their marks, rank, college, salary, or job title?

And let’s stop glorifying only academic achievers.

Let’s not make the child who gets the highest marks the only child whose achievements deserve applause.

Let’s not make children believe that they need a trophy, a rank, an IIT seat, or a prestigious career to earn our pride.

Please celebrate every child.

Celebrate the kind child.

The child who keeps trying.

The child who helps a friend.

The child who creates.

The child who asks questions.

The child who learns differently.

The child who struggles but doesn’t give up.

The child who makes us laugh.

The child who quietly does their best.

Every child has a different journey.

We don’t need to turn childhood into a competition to give it meaning.

Because life is far more precious than marks.

Life is far more precious than a rank.

Life is far more precious than a college admission.

Life is far more precious than a particular career.

And no examination result should ever be allowed to define the value of a human being.

This is where I believe education, parenting and society have to come together.

We don’t just need children who can compete.

We need young people who can cope, connect, recover, reflect, seek support and begin again.

Maybe holistic education isn’t simply about adding another subject to the curriculum.

Maybe it means creating homes, schools and communities where a child can say:

“I am struggling.”

…and hear:

“You don’t have to handle it alone.”

So, before we ask a young person, “What are you going to become?”

Perhaps sometimes we should ask, “How are you?”

And if they say they are struggling, let’s not immediately give them another lecture, another comparison, or another target.

Let’s listen.

Let’s make asking for help normal.

Let’s make conversations about mental health normal.

Let’s make failure survivable.

Let’s make success bigger than a mark sheet.

Because the purpose of education cannot simply be to prepare a child to earn a living.

It should also prepare them to live.

And please — don’t ignore mental health until it becomes a crisis.

Every parent, guardian, teacher, institution, policymaker, friend and member of society has a role to play.

And to every young person reading this:

You don’t have to have your entire life figured out.

You are more than your marks.

You are more than one exam, one rejection, or one failure.

And when things feel overwhelming, please reach out to someone you trust.

Asking for help is not weakness.

Sometimes, it is the bravest thing you can do.

Let’s raise children who don’t just know how to succeed.

Let’s raise children who know how to live, how to cope, how to ask for help — and how to begin again.

Let’s celebrate the child, not just the achievement.

Because at the end of the day, a child’s life is infinitely more valuable than any mark they could ever receive.

Picture design by Anumita Roy