In her weekly column for Different Truths, Hemashri shares two experiences that reveal the work environment in a government office.

The retirement age for Supreme Court judges is 65 years in India. This 70-year-old man retired in 2007 but continued to work for a government agency. He would come, deliver his lecture, and provide his expert opinion on people. I consider the character very intriguing because he has a honeyed tongue.

My “eyes-and-ears team”, comprising four young people, reported to me that he is very annoyed with me. I write file notes without consulting him. When he sees me walking through the corridor, he says, “Our earthquake is coming! See her noticeably large tummy. Why don’t any of you go and tell her that she should reduce her tummy?”

Yes, I have a hanging belly due to a syndrome called diastasis recti. This is a syndrome where, after pregnancy, a woman’s belly sticks out because the space between the left and right belly muscles widens. This is a common syndrome, and about two-thirds of pregnant women endure it in varying degrees. What I found most amusing is that this seventy-year-old man has fine eyesight and has paid generous attention to my belly area, which is carefully covered by my saree. I wear only sarees or salwar suits with a dupatta. Thus, I realised that this behaviour is called body shaming. It reminded me of what a colleague had told me. Her senior male colleague had told her that she had very unattractive, rickety legs to carry such a huge frame. Later, she told me, “See what these men notice about me!”

One day, I saw he was not there. So I asked, “Where is the old man? Oh my God! What happened to him? I am worried; after all, he is an old man! He is such a sweet person! I knew my every word would be reported. After some time, when he arrived, I told him, “Dada, only today did I come to know that you are 70 years old! OMG, so sweet that you are coming to an office at this age. Great, great!”

He asked me, “Who told you that I am 70 years old?” Pointing to his favourite talking partner, I said, “You were not there, and he was talking about you and said that you are so old that …” I did not wait a single second because I knew what would happen next!

Occasionally, we feel like teasing people back because we are only struggling to be decent, but it is not yet mission accomplished!

We may have 17 lakhs educated unemployed in the state, yet a 70-year-old senile man drawing a pension manages to get re-employment because of his good network!

***

On this Fool’s Day, I completed three months of a self-imposed ban. I realised I was also one of those who would visit colleagues’ office chambers and then, over a cup of tea, indulge in PCPN (Poro charcha poro ninda, i.e., speaking ill of others, gossiping, better known as bitching). I decided to ban such visits starting New Year’s Day this year. I completed three months of this ban and feel mildly cured. I shall have to be on strict self-observation to declare myself free of this syndrome.  

I read a book by Robin Sharma that says it takes 21 days to install a new habit into our system. I hope I do not relapse again, and 90 days should be a good period for initial stabilisation. Something so deeply ingrained in my system – will I be able to recover from this syndrome? I am determined to give a good fight.

I was observing a few people (both genders) who were very nice to me on the surface. They spoke very rudely about me behind my back! I was trying to understand the psychology behind it. Earlier, I was immature and rebuffed such double standards by telling myself, “Kutta bhowke hazaar, haati jai bazar” (dogs bark a thousand times, but the elephant walks calmly to the bazaar). I do not know whether I have even a fraction of an elephant’s cool temperament. I am trying to understand the psychological or behavioural reasons for the resentment people may have toward me. This situation challenges me to observe and understand. 

I have an intriguing story.

There is this senior lady who will be very sweet to me. I learned from several people that she says, “Just because she can speak fluent English, she thinks too much of herself, blah blah.”

I started my endeavour to explore this issue. For eight long years, she was the only lady officer in the department, receiving all the attention and vested with all the authority. A younger woman with a drive to work with great intensity must have created some insecurity in her. So what she says is basically a venting of her frustration. So I decided to be amiable to her. Only time will say whether I will be able to mellow her!

One thing that made me happy was that she complimented me!

I am still struggling to learn basic English. So far, I have learned only two English words, and I love them. They are magical words that can save me from a lot of trouble and spread abundant happiness. The one word that causes a lot of damage during repairs is “sorry”.  

Another word that can immediately make the listener happy is “Thank you.”

©Hemashri Hazarika

Photos from the Internet

#SugarTongue #BodyShaming #Sorry #ThankYou #gossiping #OfficeTales #LifeLessons #GovernanceGallimaurfry #DifferentTruths

Hemashri Hazarika

Hemashri Hazarika is an Officer of the Assam Civil Service since 1997. Her research on Assam Civil Service brought reforms in 2015. A first-class Postgraduate in Economics from Gauhati University, she was awarded JRF/NET by UGC in 1997. Her experience as a bureaucrat has sensitised her to human sufferings. A solutionist by passion, she takes an active interest in issues related to Governance, Development, Women, Children, etc. Reading, Writing, Speaking and Painting are her hobbies.