What Secrets do Gods Hide?

An intense, evocative protest poem, by Dr. Roopali, exclusively for Different Truths.

Mysteries lie in chanting mantras
These secret magic words!
My baby tongue lisps
making so many slips.

These lies I mumble
and the words that tumble
out of my mouth
do not come from my heart.

Hidden words I mutter
from books wrapped in
Velvet and satin and
embossed in gold.

Dark secrets hide in
the coded language
Sanskrit, Arabic,
Hebrew and Latin.

Those words they say
were at the beginning
The beginning they say
is the word.
These words 
I do not understand.

Why should I light a candle
Or an earthen dia?
or blow a conch shell.

Must I oil the lamp and wait
for my secret lover?
You lie when you say
He is my groom and
I, his bride.

Who is the dark god I wait for
bedecked across the River Yamuna?
This time it is the
flute playing lover.

Ancient secrets will reveal themselves
when the path you have lit
will mark the footsteps you
have waited for.
wonder who secretly entered the cave
and took His nailed body away?
Where did the earth split open
and take rebellious Sita away?

They wove cunning stories
and made me believe 
In untruths to this day.

Ask and thou shalt receive they lied
and turned me away before I reached the door.
The camel entered through the eye of a needle
and left me crying with a heart so sore.

Inside dark cavernous confines
choked with the smoke of incense
and fragrant flowers
I stick my tongue out for
the vapour thin bread
and the sweet red wine
to feast of the body and
blood of Christ.

When the temple bells ring
and the chanting begins
I stretch my hands
for left over morsels of
sacred Jaggery and puffed rice.
they tell me a lie….
the Goddess has eaten.

My Chauset and matsa and all this
lets me taste my creator
and my benefactor.

If I look for the Most Merciful 
I must turn to the
setting sun and kneeling.
They tell me I will find Him
only in the glowing west.

What sins did I commit of omission
What acts must I confess of commission
What penance will ever give me remission.
To an invisible god I must make my confession.

The mark of vermillion
I wear on my forehead
Is the mark of a damned liar.

Visuals by Different Truths

Dr. Roopali Sircar Gaur

Dr. Roopali Sircar Gaur is a poet, travel writer, and social justice activist. A former professor of English Literature at Delhi University, and a creative writing professor at IGNOU, she is a widely published academic and creative writer. Her book Twice Colonised: Women in African Literature, is a seminal text on women’s socio-political empowerment. In 2020-21, she co-edited two poetry anthologies – In All the Spaces: Diverse Voices in Global Women’s Poetry, and Earth Fire Water Wind.

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