Ruchira explores shifting social trends for DifferentTruths.com, critiquing how modern, opulent celebrations are replacing meaningful, traditional cultural rituals today.
AI Summary
· Cultural Shift: Ruchira examines how modest traditions like Godh Bharai have morphed into extravagant, high-risk “fairytale” baby showers.
· Privacy Paradox: The author questions the “evil eye” superstition behind blurring newborn faces on social media as a hollow trend.
· Performance vs. Ritual: Modern Haldi ceremonies are critiqued as competitive displays of wealth rather than intimate, spiritual pre-wedding preparations.
“The times they are a-changin’…” goes the highly popular ditty, but trust me, of late they are changing too fast for us old fogies to keep pace with the changes. Change is an essential part of life and a prerequisite for progress and development. However, there are several trends and emerging customs that those of us who are traditionally minded find quite bothersome and rather meaningless. Let me discuss them one by one.
Planning a baby is the epitome of conjugal love, creation and passion. Most importantly, the entire process from pregnancy to delivery needs to be handled with abundant caution since two precious lives are involved. Right? Therefore, I am befuddled to witness and even (occasionally) attend baby showers, which nowadays are organised with fairytale grandeur.
What is such a brouhaha all about? Certainly, it’s a life-changing event. But logically and medically too, shouldn’t the mum-to-be and the unborn babe be allowed some peace until the final moment? There’s quite a bit of risk involved in baby showers. Gorging mindlessly might give the pregnant lady a digestive problem – risky for the foetus as well. Can’t the fun, frolic, mad revelry be deferred to the post-delivery period?
Folks might argue that ethnic versions, e.g., gode bharai (aka shaadh bhokkhon), have always been there and must be duly upheld. Logical, but a low-key, sober ceremony would serve the purpose just as well.
Another ‘trendy’ practice is not exposing a newborn’s face to the public, whether through journals, social media, or photographs taken with cameras. Could anyone explain to me the rationale behind this quirky behaviour? The Bollywood glitterati have set the ball rolling, but now the aam janata (general public) is adopting it with greater gusto.
The bigoted moral guardians might argue that “bacche ko buri nazar se bachane k liye” (to protect the infant from black magic/evil eye/bad influences) sounds ludicrous. I mean, in today’s fast-paced society and jetset era, who indeed has the time to browse the internet or a magazine and cast a spell on your ward? Why in the name of heaven? A fat load of good it would do to him/her unless there is personal acquaintance or underlying enmity and old scores need to be settled.
The elderly among us are familiar with the ritual of Haldi (gaye holud), which was originally intended as a spa and beauty treatment for both the bride and groom. Alongside it was also a fertility rite. The ritual has changed significantly. Friends and relatives are known to air-dash from all corners of the country and the globe to attend the haldi of a loved one. This ceremony was earlier conducted on the sidelines of the actual wedding.
Women who are married and have long matrimonial ties served as emcees; the event would last approximately an hour. Nowadays, all the guests must be clad in yellow. Ditto for the couple-to-be. Next, massive urulis (wide-rimmed vessels) are filled with water tinged with haldi, and the duo is dunked in them, accompanied by shrill screams, jokes, dancing, and more. The original ceremony was in respective homes, but ‘joint haldi‘ is becoming more commonplace.
My overall views might evoke mixed reactions. While followers of the old school might agree, others might opine, ‘We must move with the tide, be trendy, modern, etc.’ What is modern about such overindulgence, Pray? Honestly, they boil down to competition, rivalry, publicity seeking, and most importantly, flaunting the opulence of both the families involved.
The objective behind writing this is sans malice or ill-will towards anyone. Consider them random musings about the state of things.
Picture design by Anumita Roy
Born in Guwahati and raised across Delhi and Punjab, Ruchira Adhikari Ghosh is an alumna of Sacred Heart Convent, Ludhiana. She holds a master’s degree in English literature from Punjab University, Chandigarh, and a postgraduate diploma in Journalism. With nearly 25 years of experience in print, web, and television media, she has carved a niche as a feature writer. Her writing focuses on women’s issues, food, travel, and literature, reflecting both versatility and depth.
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