Sudeshna writes about the daily deaths that a woman dies in an abused marriage. A powerful social commentary, exclusively for Different Truths.

I am counting,
counting the deaths 
that I have to die
 
The first was
when you first
raised your hand 
 
I know it will not be the last
your brute strength left 
indelible marks on my softness
 
A bit of crust frosted 
and settled 
at the edges of my heart
 
Every time you vent your inadequacies
your frustrations your impotent rage
The crust hardens and digs deeper
 
I don’t look at the mirror anymore
why should I look at the non-healing weals 
I hardly recognise myself
 
I fail to understand my own reactions
I cover the bruise I veil the cuts 
lest I become weak 
 
I nurse your wrongs 
I keep them alive
I have started enjoying our pantomime
 
Relishing in fact the pain inflicted
As I bide my time
when the day will dawn 
 
...and your strength will leave you
in my hands.

Visual by Different Truths

Sudeshna Mukherjee

Sudeshna Mukherjee was born in Kolkata but grew up in the beautiful Jharkhand (Ranchi) and it was here that she learnt to admire and appreciate Nature. Educated from Loreto Convent and St Xavier’s College, she majored in Economics. She always contributed articles and stories for magazines. Post marriage she moved to Mumbai, a cultural melting pot – here she observed, absorbed and assimilated. Sensitive and emotional, her journey in her Poemotions continues to grow…