Hemashri recounts a painful, real-life experience in a fictional voice in the weekly column exclusively for Different Truths.

Syamoli still wonders whether colleagues could ever be friends! She wishes this were true. Friendship with women seems to be a mismatch, or maybe it is nature’s curse! Reeta was her dearest colleague. Shyamoli wanted Reeta to be her best friend at work. Together, they spent many sessions confiding in and counselling each other, like schoolgirls. At times, Syamoli could sense a strange undercurrent of workplace rivalries, no matter how mild, which for her was negligible. She valued the friendship.

They had some common threads in their lives and maybe a few common traits in their personalities, too. They were both caregivers for their elderly, sick parents. They were assertive women. Yet they were like chalk and cheese. Never did they know how different they were, but other colleagues would ask, “How could you two be such good friends when both of you are so unlike?”  

Shyamoli is a little conservative, low-profile person, and Reeta is always the loudmouthed, dirty-joke-sharing, bold girl. In fact, they had only “Hi, Hello” terms until eleven years ago, when they became insignificant officers in important departments. Those were tough times when they had to struggle for literally everything – from a chamber to even getting signatures for letters they had drafted. They, despite being officers of the so-called premier service, had to remain content with somewhat derogatory designations. Maybe their struggles brought them closer. There were ailing elders at home, responsibility-evading family members, disobedience and revolt among junior staff members, attention-craving small children, and a “babu-job” to top it all off. They were the perfect struggling middle-class multitaskers. They had discovered solace in each other’s company. They were friends, philosophers, and guides to each other.

Reeta was married to a high-ranking officer, albeit as a second wife. He had endured some tragedies in life, and to add to his misery, he was suddenly transferred out of the state. Reeta had a difficult time managing her large family. Challenges honed her survival skills. All along, Syamoli was deeply concerned; in fact, she and her husband once organised well-wishers to pray for Reeta’s husband’s return. It ended as a misadventure despite our best efforts. Finally, it was Reeta’s determined effort to earn goodwill and the smart networking that helped her bring her husband back. He was in a place three hours from home. Shyamoli tried her best to be sincere to her distressed friend.

Once, Reeta invited Shyamoli’s family to a get-together organised by her husband’s colleagues and their wives, which was more like a mela (fair/fete). They went there with their children. After a casual round, Reeta raised a panic alarm when her husband had profuse nasal bleeding. Shyamoli and her husband accompanied them to the nearest hospital and tried to ease the situation. After a night’s stay, Rita’s husband was discharged. Shyamoli and her husband returned home only after things had normalised. They had arranged the basic hospital emergency, which involved a minor expenditure. After recovery, Reeta insisted on paying back the amount. Shyamoli declined, as it was a small amount and merely a friendly gesture. To express her gratitude, Reeta visited Shyamoli’s home and presented her with an expensive tea set. To date, that is the most beautiful crockery at Shyamoli’s home.

There was this giant conference when the officers decided to bring out a souvenir. Reeta also decided to write an article. She approached Shyamoli for input, and Shyamoli, as usual, was generous. A senior colleague was dead set against the publication of Reeta’s somewhat controversial write-up. Shyamoli and her husband argued, “Why don’t you all allow fresh ideas?” The write-up was published.

There was a very weird episode at Shyamoli’s workplace that forced her to take medical leave on health grounds. During this phase, she was assigned a project in which the senior officer, Reeta’s husband, served as the mentor and Reeta as the chief facilitator. However, the success of this project may have marked the beginning of a rift in their friendship. There were awkward moments when Shyamoli discovered that Reeta was cold to her. Though painful, Shyamoli endured it, with minor hints to Reeta, now and then.

After this event, it was Syamoli’s turn to face family dislocation as her husband was frequently transferred to turmoil-prone areas. Finally, he was chosen, perhaps as an extraordinary performer, to be posted to the most remote parts of the state. Those were the typical punishment postings far away from home. Her husband was posted in places that required an eight-hour journey from home. Reeta, the well-connected lady, never even expressed any concern, let alone sympathy. Moreover, Shyamoli was posted 30 km away from her residence, in a place notorious for daily traffic jams. Commuting took anywhere from one to four hours. Despite several invitations, Reeta never visited Shyamoli’s office even once. Often, Reeta would call Syamoli to her office for one reason or another. This made Shyamoli realise that Reeta was perhaps merely a fair-weather friend. Possibly, Reeta’s husband’s designation was her foremost identity. Shyamoli gradually distanced herself from Reeta, with a heavy heart.

Finally, Reeta visited Syamoli’s office area when her husband’s colleagues and their wives planned to have a picnic there. Reeta was the organiser and had to finalise the arrangements. This made Shyamoli realise that Reeta had not been able to visit even once in three years, but it was easily accessible to her for her husband’s colleagues’ picnic. Reeta’s hypocrisy was visible loud and clear.

Life moved on. Reeta was a very shrewd networker, and Shyamoli found on many occasions that she was proactive in helping her other friends secure favourable transfers and postings. However, Reeta never enquired about Shyamoli’s husband’s transfer posting status. Instead, Reeta would often taunt Shyamoli behind her back, calling her a helpless idiot for having to commute to such a faraway office every day. At the same time, her husband was also posted in a remote area.

Time passed. The goodwill of a well-wisher finally brought Shyamoli to the same office as Reeta. After some time, Shyamoli’s husband’s extradition also came to an end.

They remained in touch. The government announced a new policy to reschedule office hours from 9.30 am to 5 pm. Syamoli’s husband developed an infection called Herpes Zoster, and it was very painful to see him attend the office. The infection had spread all over his chest and back. Herpes Zoster is a very painful infection. He could not sleep properly but had to go to the office. There was an official emergency from the NRC, so no officer was likely to take on another officer’s assignment. Thus, taking leave was not possible in such a critical phase. For a government servant, leave is not a matter of right. However, his boss was very kind to allow him to rest in between.

Her husband’s commitment rekindled Shyamoli’s spirit of dedication. She decided to challenge herself by coming to the office at 9.30 am, starting on New Year’s Day. They had a WhatsApp group with just three members – Shyamoli, Reeta, and another colleague. They named it 3G (3 Girls). In January, Shyamoli posted a selfie saying, “I take the challenge. What about you?” Within minutes, she found Reeta reacting sharply, saying that coming on time is not relevant. She would prefer to work on her file, sitting in her garden, and thought that such stupid rules were for lesser mortals – meaning the clerical stuff. Shyamoli retorted that all should abide by the rules without exception. Quoting her frequent foreign trips, Reeta talked of the norms abroad (read: America). Two erstwhile close friends had a confrontation on WhatsApp. Confrontations turned bitter. Shyamoli left the WhatsApp group and decided to delete Reeta from her mindscape.

Reeta’s indifference and insults deeply hurt Syamoli. A good friendship had soured due to a superiority complex and a big ego. Meeting people is destiny. Who stays on is also destined.

Syamoli bid a silent goodbye to Reeta. Their closure is complete. Now, she knows that colleagues can seldom be friends.

©Hemashri Hazarika

Photos from the Internet

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Hemashri Hazarika

Hemashri Hazarika is an Officer of the Assam Civil Service since 1997. Her research on Assam Civil Service brought reforms in 2015. A first-class Postgraduate in Economics from Gauhati University, she was awarded JRF/NET by UGC in 1997. Her experience as a bureaucrat has sensitised her to human sufferings. A solutionist by passion, she takes an active interest in issues related to Governance, Development, Women, Children, etc. Reading, Writing, Speaking and Painting are her hobbies.