Failure is a taboo. Every failure leads to ostracization. Instead of support, that person is treated as a social outcaste, says Vijayhardik, sharing his own story of failure. A Different Truths exclusive.
People want their lives to be a great green pasture. The shiny, glitzy and the sunny side of life is plastered all over the place for the world to see. When we are soaring, everyone around wants to bask in the glory of success and ride the wave of popularity. But what happens when we hit turbulence?
Failure is not an option. You succeed or either die trying.
In a society, where an individuals’ worth is determined by their success, there is no scope for failure. It is taboo. Here, failure is not an option. You succeed or either die trying. Be it in the chosen field of education or a relationship you currently invested in. No wonder there is a sporadic rise in number of mental health cases.
Everything is hunky dory until we are set on the predestined path based on the expectations of people we are surrounded by. The penny drops when we veer off track. Philosophically, we are offered various platitudes on failure making it seem like a part of life. However, that is often not the case.
Before the person, who has suffered a setback, has time to piece things together, (s)he is handed another set of problems to deal with.
Failure is looked upon as an earth-shattering incident. In adverse scenarios, all hell breaks loose. In the blink of an eye, the scrutiny begins. Before the person, who has suffered a setback, has time to piece things together, (s)he is handed another set of problems to deal with.
The very people who had been singing praises yesterday, start to vilify and persecute in the present. Individuals get tagged with labels of ‘useless’, ‘worthless’ and other synonyms. Constant degradation accompanies the individual as a reminder of their failure till the time their fortunes turn around.
I have my own story of failure. I was in academic terms considered a bright student.
I have my own story of failure. I was in academic terms considered a bright 
student. I slipped up on one of my tests in preparing to get into university. Out of a total of 360, I managed a measly 42. On that disastrous test, I scored just 5 marks in math. Ever since I had to listen to the barb of five marks until I got admitted into university.
In university, I tried to pursue engineering. By the end of my first year of engineering, I wanted to change my course. By the time I got permission to change my course I was on the verge of ending my life. Along the way I also picked up the tag of an ‘useless engineer’ and was diagnosed with leukaemia.
Though health did flounder, today it is a reason for changing the course of my life.
Though health did flounder, today it is a reason for changing the course of my life. Now I feel I am on a path I have decided based on my opinions. But should a person be hounded for encountering failure? Is it a crime to do so?
I do not think so. I do believe that a shift in perception on failure is trickling in. In recent times, one of the poignant conversations on failure was held by Prime Minister Narendra Modi at townhall addressing students at the event ‘Pariksha Pe Charcha’ (discussion on examination).
When asked on the topic of dealing with pressure and expectations, during his answer, he made the following point, “When an infant is learning new skills, the child is encouraged to fall and learn from the mistakes. But when the same child grows up, why is it that the child is criticised for making a mistake?”
From our infancy in our growth story, we learn right from wrong, good from bad from our experiences. From our mistakes. But… the window for error shrinks rapidly.
From our infancy in our growth story, we learn right from wrong, good from bad from our experiences. From our mistakes. But after a certain stage it becomes unacceptable. The window for error shrinks rapidly. Anything not meeting the criteria of expectations is deemed a failure. Why is it so?
To err is human. There are many quotes and proverbs highlighting the role failure plays in the life of an individual. I have chosen to quote Shah Rukh Khan. According to him, “Success is not a good teacher. Failure makes you humble.” So why is failure treated as a crime? Why is the person suffering the setback treated as an outcaste?
©Vijayhardik Josyula
Photos sourced by the author from the Internet
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Success definition has started equating expected goal achievement. Taking decisive steps, be willing to face consequences is an adult. Youth seeks the best of -“western & eastern privileges/rights; no duties or responsibilities” and holds others responsible for consequences-will only delay the process.
Journey to get there is no longer being enjoyed, relished. We all need to pause, stop to smell the roses.