A political satire by Sohini: Ma Durga attends the Global Leadership Summit, roasts alpha males, and sends them packing to a Himalayan meditation camp, exclusively for Different Truths.
The Global Leadership Summit had entered its most productive phase: the ceremonial exchange of buzzwords. Around the vast table, presidents, prime ministers, and billionaires were competing to see who could say robust, framework, and synergy in the same sentence without committing to anything.
The head table was a study in ego density: Biden (retired but relevant), Macron (convinced the summit was about him), Netanyahu (guarding a personal stash of grudges), Putin (glowering at everyone like they were unpaid debts), a Gulf monarch with a diamond pen, Zelenskyy (the only one in combat green), and India’s own Verbose Verma — a man whose sentences required not just commas but camping gear for the journey. Trump was there too, looking like he had just declared victory in a contest no one else had entered.
Enter the Lion (Literally)
The double doors blew open. She strode in — ten arms, each carrying a symbol of divine power: sword, trident, discus, lotus, bow, conch, mace, bell, shield, and clipboard. Her lion padded behind, golden eyes scanning for the first ego to chew on.
“Gentlemen,” she said, her voice equal parts temple bell and thunderclap, “the grown-ups are here.”
Trump started to wave. The lion growled. He sat so fast his tie flipped.
Verma rose, already oozing vocabulary. “Your celestial omnipotence, whose kaleidoscopic manifestation—”
Durga didn’t blink. “Sit down, Verma, before your sentence applies for asylum in another language.”
Pull Quote: Roasting the Roster
Durga began pacing the table.
- Trump: “You did tremendous damage, tremendously fast, with tremendous confidence.”
- Verma: “Your speeches are monsoons of syllables that drown meaning. And your extracurricular diplomacy with interns would embarrass Zeus.”
- Putin: “You’re the schoolyard bully who grew up and got nuclear weapons.”
- Macron: “A man holding a mirror and calling it a map.”
- Netanyahu: “You’ve turned every olive branch into kindling.”
- Zelenskyy: “Heroism needs humility, or it curdles into performance.”
- Biden: “Steer toward the future, not the past.”
- Xi Jinping: “You’ve built the world’s biggest fence and are still afraid of the view outside.”
- Gulf Monarch: “Sustainability does not mean importing snow.”
- Tech Billionaire: “Humanity is not your beta version.”
The Shakti Sermon
“You’ve had centuries,” Durga said. “The result? Melting ice caps, refugee crises, and economies that work only for the yacht-owning class. Alpha male vanity dressed as policy.”
The women in the room — Jacinda Ardern, Mia Mottley, Sanna Marin, and Merkel (summoned for moral support) — sat taller.
“When women lead,” Durga said, “bridges are built before statues. Schools open before missile silos. Food is distributed before hashtags are launched.”
Shakti — Sanskrit for power, energy, and divine feminine force.
- Also, the name of the movement Durga just launched by hijacking the summit.
- Key policy pillars: Less ego, more empathy. More gardens, fewer gulags.
The Great Exile to Inner Peace
Durga paused mid-roast. “On second thought, you’re too restless to be left unsupervised. You’re all going to a month-long Himalayan retreat. No phones. No aides. No secret back channels.”
- Trump: “You will spend your days in silence, learning that listening is not weakness.”
- Verma: “Three sentences a day. Use them wisely.”
- Putin: “You will herd goats. The goats will have more votes than you.”
- Macron: “Cook for others without making it about you.”
- Netanyahu: “Plant olive trees and don’t cut them down.”
- Zelenskyy: “Tell stories to children without cameras present.”
- Biden: “Lead morning yoga — and stay awake.”
- Xi Jinping: “Meditate on an open border drawn in chalk.”
- Gulf Monarch: “Melt ice for drinking water — by hand.”
- Tech Billionaire: “Read a novel without monetising it.”
“Return,” she said, “when you have more humanity than hubris.”
Exit, Pursued by a Lion
Her lion padded forward, swiping the ceremonial gavel to the floor.
“Meeting adjourned,” Durga declared. “Effective immediately, the agenda is run by Shakti.”
The women rose. Merkel took the gavel. Jacinda called for a vote. It passed unanimously, except for a few men with “calendar conflicts” involving their egos.
Durga mounted her lion, arms busy — reins, lotus, trident, sari, blessing, wave — already drafting a plan to fix the world in under a decade.
“The alpha male experiment has expired. Now let’s try patience instead of posturing, vision instead of vanity.”
The lion roared. The chandeliers rattled. Outside, the chant rose like a drumbeat: “Go Shakti! Go Shakti! Go Shakti!”
Inside, for the first time in decades, the summit began to sound like it might matter.
Picture design by Anumita Roy
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A wonderful work of satire! A refreshing viewpoint of the global turmoil . The outcome is the complete control of Shakti. Let’s make the world a better place by putting our ego in our pockets. Peace shall prevail.
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