Ruchira honours a remarkable woman who lived a fulfilling life. embracing learning, passions, and a positive outlook, becoming a published author at ninety, exclusively for Different Truths.
The gracious nonagenarian lady walked into sunset on a cold, wintry day last December. It was the end of a glorious chapter for she had lived a full and interesting life. The purpose of this write-up is to salute her die-hard spirit and zest for life. My ties with Benu Auntie (name changed) span many decades.
She was a family friend, a relative through a matrimonial alliance (one of her siblings is married to a cousin of my dad’s, and finally, a neighbour in Delhi.
Born into an affluent family, she was the second of six children and the oldest girl. She grew up in and around Assam, where her bureaucrat father (he was in the judicial services) was posted. The family was musically and culturally inclined, so it was only natural that she received training in Hindustani classical music. So passionate was she that she diligently continued with her ‘riyaz’ every day lifelong, until the last day of her life.
When she lived abroad, she performed at functions organised by the local Indian Diaspora. During our occasional conversations, Auntie would proudly reminisce about her programmes aired on the BBC at various points in time.
Academically, she held a master’s degree in Philosophy from Kolkata University, where the family relocated later. Interestingly, she had a chequered life; having been married to a bureaucrat, she crisscrossed Europe, where her husband was posted and underwent special job-related training.
Therefore, technically, as a housewife, she devoted her energy and enthusiasm to intellectual and cultural pursuits. Wherever she lived, she maintained a beautiful home. Her advancing years notwithstanding, she learned yoga and pursued it diligently till arthritis tightened its grip on her. This impressed me no end.
At the turn of the century, when the Internet invaded the entire country, we went ahead with determination and learned not only the basic operations but also social media, Gmail, WhatsApp and what have you! All this at the ripe old age of seventy-something! I discovered this much later, though.
On one occasion, I was lamenting to her that, unlike most Bengali girls, I was utterly devoid of skills such as vocal music, dance Art, craft, embroidery and so forth. “My dear,” she said, “There is no age limit. If you are so passionate about music, you can start learning even now though as you say you are not so young.” I was greatly inspired.
Her words still ring in my ears, even though she is no more.
As far as I can remember, she was a generous hostess. Whenever we visited her family, we found her ready with an overloaded tray of gooey goodies and beverages. Endowed with a cheerful disposition and affectionate nature, Benu Auntie loved chitchat and healthy gossip. She had a particular soft spot for my daughter: both were born the same day, albeit sixty years apart!
Another point that astonished me was her unflinching faith in the Almighty. True, she had her fair share of sorrows and adversities. Yet she always maintained a stoic calm and an unruffled exterior.
The crowning glory of Benu Auntie’s life was her literary pursuits. About three years ago, she kind of “went underground” suddenly. When she resurfaced, we were delighted to find she had completed her autobiography. An autobiography at ninety!
This is no mean feat for an individual. Happily, for her, the book garnered a good number of customers on a well-known online commercial platform. Candidly admitting she was not a great writer or “pro”, she would be heard remarking casually, “If I am born again, I shall try to be a much better writer.”
Picture design by Anumita Roy
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