The Unsolicited Advice

Unsolicited advice or meddling with someone else’s life is a pain, reminds Enakshi, in this tongue-in-cheek write-up. An exclusive for Different Truths.

Advice is free and that’s why everyone loves giving one to another even if it is unasked for. It is said for a reason that one should not make it a habit of giving unsolicited advice to others as that may endanger their relationship. Humans have their own brain and they can ask for a piece of advice when they need one. But why would we wait for someone to ask for it? Generous that we all are, we believe in giving the advice irrespective of the time, people or place.

When I was a child, I was often advised by my near and dear ones to jump the rope, hang by the bar and wear those protruding slippers because I was considered short. As I grew up, those same people started advising me about how I should do dieting, join a gym and eat fewer sweets because my body defied the standards of being ‘thin’.

When I was a child, I was often advised by my near and dear ones to jump the rope, hang by the bar and wear those protruding slippers because I was considered short. As I grew up, those same people started advising me about how I should do dieting, join a gym and eat fewer sweets because my body defied the standards of being ‘thin’. While in college, I was advised to focus on studies, not bunk the lectures and being friends with genuine people. Did I ask for all these advices? No. I didn’t. Did I need them? No, I didn’t. I wasn’t that simpleton. My mother was always there to direct me towards the right path. She still does that but people, I tell you! They do not want to let go of the pleasure of giving suggestions even if those words go unheard.

I celebrated my 5th wedding anniversary some time back. People wished me joy and luck. But there were a certain few who advised me to plan for a family because they believed that five years was a long time for a couple to remain a couple than become a family. Some of them went to the extent of explaining how being in the lockdown is a favourable time for planning a family because we have enough time on our hands. Some of them didn’t shy away from revealing that they were already planning a child. As if this was not enough, people even advised me to make it a special day by cooking nice food and baking a cake. I wondered if they thought that I was a child and didn’t know how to celebrate my anniversary. I wondered if they would ever stop breathing upon my neck. I wondered if I was doing the right thing by turning a blind eye to all the suggestions.

Being an armchair critic is a habit that all of us possess. We cannot get rid of it unless we try. From what I have observed, I can safely conclude that all these people who love giving me unsolicited advise are the ones who are clueless when it comes to solving their own problems.

Being an armchair critic is a habit that all of us possess. We cannot get rid of it unless we try. From what I have observed, I can safely conclude that all these

people who love giving me unsolicited advise are the ones who are clueless when it comes to solving their own problems. Therefore, they prefer barging into someone else’s life and making things right for them. Sadly, it doesn’t work that way.

Be it the neighbours, the colleagues or the random people who are not more than acquaintances, all of them love to offer suggestions. This cycle never stops. Children are advised to study hard, for studying can help them build a bright future. Teenagers are advised to be in the right company, adults are advised to get married on time (irrespective of their will or wish), couples are advised to start a family (again, irrespective of their will and wish) and the old are advised to rest and be mute.

This cycle never stops. Children are advised to study hard, for studying can help them build a bright future. Teenagers are advised to be in the right company, adults are advised to get married on time (irrespective of their will or wish), couples are advised to start a family (again, irrespective of their will and wish) and the old are advised to rest and be mute.

Unsolicited advise is always self-serving (Amy Dickenson). I am sure most of you will agree with me on that too. All of us give suggestions. It is a habit. What we all should be mindful of is the fact that not everybody needs a suggestion.  As a listener, we should learn the art of insulating ourselves from the plenty of angry people who just want us to believe that all metrics matter. Life is short and to live it the way we find most appropriate should be the prime focus.

Photo from the Internet